25 Amazing COPING SKILLS Everyone Needs

This video has been brought to you by the Kinions on Patreon. If you would like to support the creation of these mental health videos, click the link in the description and check it out. Hey everybody. Happy Thursday. Now today’s video is actually really cool and I’m super excited about it, but before I get into that… are you new to my channel? Make sure you’re subscribed, and have your notifications turned on — you know that little bell thing? Turn them on because I put out videos on Mondays and on Thursdays and I want to make sure you know about it. But let’s get into this very exciting idea. Now, I received today’s question on YouTube, I think, but it says: “Kati, it’d be super cool to do a video, like ’25 Coping Skills.’ I spent a lot of time trying to find healthy coping skills and, as usual, overthought it to the point that I figured there were no other skills that I could do.” And I really wanted to talk about this because I mention “coping skills” all the time in so many videos, yet I’m pretty sure that I haven’t actually ever defined it or given you some ideas or options to help get you started. First, let’s define “coping skill.” “A ‘coping skill’ is any characteristic or behavioral pattern that enhances a person’s adaptation.” Meaning that if we feel stress all the time, we can create those “defense mechanisms” or “coping skills” to help us better manage or lessen the stress. These can be distraction techniques or tools to help us process through all that we may be feeling. Due to the two types of coping skills — those distraction techniques as well as the process — I’m going to break these into two sections, and the first section will be all about distraction techniques. So let’s jump into those. Number one: going for a walk. Not only is this good for your physical health — walking — and it gets you vitamin D. By the way, do you know how important vitamin D is for your mental AND physical health? Please get your blood work done and talk to your doctor because it’s so, so important. But anyways, getting some fresh air, moving your body, and getting away from any of your unhealthy coping skills — you know like being around your self-injury tools, or food to binge on, or alcohol to drink — it can be a GREAT distraction. And number two: painting your nails. This works if you struggle with purging in particular, or self-injury as well as many other issues. It makes us focus on ONE THING. And then we can’t do much with our hands until it dries, and by then, maybe that intense stress or urge to act out has passed us by. Number three: blowing bubbles. Yes, I know children love this, but adults can love it too. And it’s actually really relaxing to watch the bubbles grow, just go out into the air and burst. And even have my patients sometimes imagine that their issue is that bubble — and when it pops, they let that bad or stressful thought go away, too. Number four: read a good book or listen to a wonderful audio book. This is a great way to escape the world that you’re in and live in a more exciting or happy one. That’s why I loved Harry Potter so much. I mean, come on… Who doesn’t want to live in a world where you can do magic and hide under an invisibility cloak when you don’t want to get caught? Number five: exercise. Obviously this can only be done if it’s okay with your doctor AND your body, but moving and exercising regularly can lower our blood pressure, release endorphins — which can help boost our mood and reduce any pain may be feeling. Number six: Deep breathing or breathing techniques. I personally love the “Four By Four Breathing.” You know, when you breathe in for four, hold it for four, and breathe out for four… but find one that works for you, and give it a try. And if you need more energy instead of needing to relax, you can try the “Breath of Fire” technique. I’ll link my video — it’s an oldie but a goodie — in the description so you can click over there and check it out. Number seven: watching your favorite show or video series. Just like reading, watching a TV show or a series can get us out of our head and away from our world and allow us to live, you know, in another one for a little while. Number eight: draw or doodle. I am terrible at drawing… terrible. But doodling can be great and it doesn’t require any artistic talent. Draw loops, flowers, animals or whatever you like to doodle. Number nine: color. Duh. You knew this one was coming. I personally love to color and it’s just such a great distraction. There’s just something about feeling a crayon or colored pencil on paper that’s so relaxing to me. So maybe give it a try and see if it works for you, too. Number ten: do a crossword puzzle, or, really, any puzzle that you like. There are whole books and websites catered to puzzles, so if you need your brain to be challenged a little bit in order for you to truly be distracted, maybe this one’s the one for you. Number eleven: writing down some positive or motivational quotes and sticking them up all over the house. Not only do we know that writing down happy or positive things — like the actual act of writing can improve our mood — but putting them in places that we will see and read each and every day can help us feel better and better able to overcome any unhealthy urge. Number 12: cleaning your house! I know many of you just hid from this video and pretended you didn’t hear me, lalala, but cleaning — if you find it relaxing and enjoyable — can really help and be a great distraction. Also, you can be really proud afterward at how nice and clean your place looks. Thirteen: playing music or even creating new playlists. This can be really relaxing and focus our mind on something other than the stress or upsetting issue at hand. This tip can also be a way to process through all that you may be going through because music can be a great way to express all that we’re feeling and get it out of our own head. And with that, let’s move into the processing type of coping skills. Number one is: to write a friend a nice card. This will not only brighten their day when they receive it, but it can also help you focus on someone positive in your life and remind you that you’re not alone with all that you’re going through. Number two: call or text a friend. And I know you don’t like this, but calling is preferred. This helps us connect and possibly vent to someone that we care about and who cares about us. Whenever I’m creating a ‘Safety Plan’ with one of my patients, I have them write down five different people that they could call or text, and that way, one is bound to be available when they need them — even if it’s 3:00 in the morning. Number three: “impulse logs.” I know I’ve talked about these before but I don’t know if I’ve ever really gone into detail about how they work. Now, these logs will first ask you what your impulse was — for example, to self-injure, lash out at a friend, etc… then, what it is you would hope to get out of doing the impulse, what it is you’re trying to express — like what it is that you’re really feeling or hoping to get out by doing that unhealthy thing — then what you could do instead, and how you feel after having filled it out. These “impulse logs” are amazing, and not only help us process through what we may be feeling and going through, but they slow our impulses down so we don’t make a decision in panic. Number four: Use “feelings charts.” We can often feel so overwhelmed by life that we don’t take a second to even consider what we’re going through. Slowing down and taking time to go through all the emotions that may have come up that day can help us better see why we are feeling sad, mad, or elated about that day. Taking stock of it all can just keep us in closer touch with ourselves and our experiences. Number five: Journaling. You knew this one was coming. And as long as we don’t ruminate too much — because journaling can sometimes make that worse — it can be helpful to write out all that has happened that day or week, how you’re doing and what you’re grateful for. It just helps us get it out of our head and see it on paper so that we can let it go and move forward. If you didn’t know, I started a text messaging club. You can sign up — it’s $5 a month and I text you twice a week. Once a week is kind of a motivational keep-you-going thing, and the other time is a journal prompt. So, if you struggle to get started, that could be a great way to, you know… get on the journal wagon. I’ll put the link in the description. You can check it out and see if it’s something that works for you. Number six: “Feeling-Word Collages.” I’ve talked about these before as well, but these are a great way to process through an emotion that we may have been experiencing. So take a piece of paper, write the “emotion word” in the middle and then fill in the rest of the paper with other words or pictures that you associate with that “feeling word.” You could even add in certain memories that may come up while you’re doing this collage and putting that together. Number seven: write down two to three things that you like about yourself and your situation. Sometimes all we need is a shift in our mind, and moving it on to more positive and uplifting thoughts. So doing this can help shift our thoughts that way in the morning and at night so it kind of bookends our entire day. Number eight: talking to a therapist. I know this one may take a bit more planning, but seeing a professional could help us cope with all that we may not be able to cope with on our own. So please: reach out, speak up and start seeing someone — it helps SO much. Number nine: taking stock of how an emotion feels in our body. I’ve had many of my clients do this when trying to focus in on, like, an actual emotion word or an emotion itself… it’s just too overwhelming or they don’t even know where to start or how to describe it. Instead, I may ask them to tell me how their neck feels — “is it tight? Is it loose? How about your hands? Or your feet? ” By taking stock in our body and working to relate it to what’s happened that past day, week, or even year, we can sometimes more easily connect to our emotions and how it’s affecting us physically. It can even help explain why we might be extra achy or tired at that particular time. And number ten: write a letter to your younger or older self. This can help to give us perspective, share insights and advice and even see how much progress we’ve made. In therapy, we can also do this to help us heal our “child self” and give them the love and support that they so desperately needed. Writing a letter to another time can also help us get unstuck, so that we can finally move past that really difficult “trigger,” or the issue that has continually held us back. Number eleven: write letters to those who are upsetting us still — but never send them! You can, of course, tear them up or burn them or whatever, but it can help to get it out; you know — get out all that you’ve been wanting or needing to say, but you never got the chance to. And by not sending those letters, it gives us the freedom to express it ALL without holding anything back. So be raw, be honest… maybe even cry or scream while you write them. This is one that I myself have done over and over throughout the years and it’s really helped me move on from past hurts. Now, I know… you realize that was only twenty four ideas. So please leave the 25th in the comments down below. What coping skills do you find to be the most helpful for YOU? Because with your experience and my expertise, we will keep working together towards a healthy mind and a healthy body. And I will see you next time. Bye!

100 Replies to “25 Amazing COPING SKILLS Everyone Needs”

  1. Taking a benadryl if it's too far bad..ask resort. washing the dish… breaking something that you want to throw away scream into pillow. Healthy coping is possible. It is. But it takes strength. It's weak to hurt yourself and easy. It's attractive and shows strength to cope healthy. It has a bigger reward and gets u positive attention

  2. A mentor of mine would have me blow bubbles while reciting “ I am a miracle bubble and no one can pop me”! Also the smell of crayons are actually beneficial to both our mental and physical health. The smell has been known to reduce blood pressure by at least ten points!! I give boxes of crayons and bubbles as gifts.

  3. Streaching!

    Long anecdote: 

    I recently had a situation where I was overwhelmed with frustration at festive situation – in this case competitive games as part of a bachelor party, but these meltdowns often happens for me in otherwise festive or happy situation where apparently things just gets too much for me.

    My usual coping would be crying, in a corner bathroom or closet in hiding somewhere, but this was in a forest and right before we were supposed to go in a car together and drive for quite a whole.

    No hiding, no escapes, not alot of time. Oh, and crying in public has gotten an increasingly worsened anxiety trigger for me – both for fear of how I might look, what people will think about my capabilitie and ability to keep a job, if it might affect my current job etc. etc. But also, I fear the otherwise natural response of people that would be offering me care, empathy, nice guestures, asking me questions about what's wrong which I can't explain or express but worst of all, make the crying worse and trigger even worse anxiety responses. (Which is also a flaw in the instinctual hide and cry method.. people can see when you have cryed and they still ask). And worse yet, I don't want to ruin the day or the experience for the others, and for this day in perticular the bride and groom to be.

    My body was so filled with build up anger and frustration, heat and vibration, and I was like a deer in headlights. I felt my only options were shouting and punshing something (or someone 🙁 ) and making a mess of a huge scene… Or crying probably panicing then crying hysterically and probably make a similar mess of a huge scene. Off course I couldn't beat sometimes, so I turned my back and started crying and felt the anxiety comming… But then somehow got the inpulse to do some stretching, and that just worked wonders! 

    It gave my thoughts a distraction and somewhere else to go than on my body spiraling out of control… In stead focusing on the patterns (I do rutines of streaching during my day when I'm tired or dizzy and feel like need my blood and my heart to pick up the pace and start circulating again – also sometimes before excercise.) It also gave my build up energy somewhere else to go, and helped me relax my muscles til I in the end could collapse like a flat balloon without tears noticably running. 

    So I could keep it down for the car ride and walk it off later. 

    I am amazed. Will defenately be trying this again 🙂

  4. I find that crying and screaming at home is a coping strategy for me. This is what I've learned in therapy. I feel peace with myself after I do this.

  5. I personally enjoy journaling about my emotions and doing something I enjoy like playing the piano and reading and listening to music

  6. I wrote down quotes and hung them up around the house a few years ago. They still hang today. On the kitchen "Blessed are those who see beautiful things where others see nothing", in the bathroom "you look so good when you smile" and in the hallway on the door "sometimes you have to step outside and remind yourself of who you are and who you wanna be" and many more 🙂 I also love listening to podcasts or affirmations whilst drawing or these days, playing Sims, on days where nothing else is possible. Or singing and video editing, those things can make me forget the dark of my world.

  7. Thanks for this video. I know this is like a year later, but I've been watching your videos for awhile and they're super helpful.

    I've been needing to find some coping mechanisms. I have ARFID, or have thoughts/feelings related to those of ARFID that are a result of another problems, and I get really anxious around most food, too the point where I've had panic attacks and thoughts of self harm. I'm also ace, nonbinary, and have a girlfriend, which isn't an issue. It's my family who are closed minded and miseducated (who refuse to be educated) and it stresses me out so much. I used to keep a journal but I'm scared to now because my stepmom read it. I want to overcome this stupid fear, and I think finding healthy coping mechanisms is a step in the right direction. It would be especially helpful if I can find one or two that are portable and that I can use in public without feeling ashamed or judged. Sorry for the long post!

  8. #25 (my number 1) Ask God for help, know that he is helping behind the scenes, focus on all that is good in my life and ask God for help to figure out what to do next, using lists to get clear if a lot is going on, and when I know what to do next, I do it. Sometimes I just need to read bible verses and let God's love sink in. Other times I just need to do something nice for someone else and feel good about that. It's all drawing on God's love and help and his purpose for me.

  9. #25: dance, sing, and clean at the same time. I'm a musician, so this works super well for me personally. It makes cleaning feel more meaningful bc i struggle with mever feeling like i've cleaned "enough." But when i singing and dancing i feel like i still got a little exercise and practice in.

  10. While I was watching this video, I popped bubble wraps to the point my fingers ached and I also meditate to help cope with my heavy feelings. Feeling calm is my ultimate goal when my jaws are clenched and my shoulders and back tensed and my headache pounding. I hope this helps some. 🙂

  11. Hi Kati, thank you for all you do for us. You are so helpful, comforting and inspiring. Can you please make some videos on the topic of adult children estrangement? My son is in his mid forties, is married, and has my two beautiful grandchildren. I miss them and have been respectful of their decision. They know that my door is always open. It has been five years and is painful and disappointing. I 'm not having time with my grandchildren, and they are growing up so fast. His issues do stem from past trauma from my abusive marriage. I have struggled through my own trauma and moved on to make a good and healthy life and marriage and pray that he can too. Thank you Kati.

  12. i do dance party time, just play music i like, close my eyes and move however, forget all standards and focus on what i'm hearing instead of my mind

  13. Thank you this was a good video my 25 coping skill is to write a story I enjoy writing stories and I feel good after creating a story

  14. Me, then, writing a letter to my older self: You better be cool and successful or I'll beat you up
    Me, now, writing a letter to my younger self: Just be kind to yourself and the people you love, nothing else really matters

  15. Talking to my friends talking to my father about his life and being grateful for mine indeed we all have different challenges relax take it easy

  16. Your enthusiasm is so endearing and you're spot on in all you bring forth in your videos. Thank you so much for all your hard work to help others. I love the person you are. All the best to you, always!

  17. I find playing relaxing games helpful when it comes to coping. Things like farming or life sims, games with building elements, jump'n run games or point and click, for example. Story driven games and rpgs are great, too, depending on why I need distraction.

  18. Distraction techniques
    1) walk outside
    2) painting your nails
    3) blowing bubbles
    4) read/listen to books
    5) exercise
    6) deep breathing – 4 by 4
    7) watching a show or tv
    8) drawing or doodling
    9) color
    10) puzzles
    11) writing down positive quotes
    12) cleaning
    13) play music
    Processing type
    1) a card for a friend
    2) a call to friend
    3) impulse logs
    4) emotion check
    5) journal
    6)feeling word collages
    7) write things you like about yourself and your situation
    8) see a therapist
    9) taking stalk in your body to get in touch with yourself
    10) write a letter to your younger/older self
    11) write a letter to people who have hurt you

  19. i like to make up little stories and write them down. i like to base them after real things in my life, and they always have the happy ending i hope i have. when i was only 10 years old i started this. now im 16 and im 3 years clean from self harming!! i also like to use worn out dry erase markers (bc theyre softer) to draw colorful squiggles on my legs and arms

  20. I found kalimba songs on here after universe told me music will help me heal… (I work 7 days a week and take care of my mom, never have time for myself) I ended up buying one to learn.. the sound is soooo relaxing and the kids said they love listening to me learn to play it

  21. I have been dealing with sever anxiety for over a year now. It’s gotten to the point where I have no friends I had to quit my job and I barely leave the house. I want to get better but I’m just so scared about everything and I can’t get all the “what if’s” out of my head with I try or even think about doing something.

  22. I clean my room when I’m sad stressed anxious depressed my friend came over left the room to go the loo comes back to find me mixing hair dye in my wardrobe crying then staying there for an hour getting a shower then cleaning my room for an hour crying the whole time and having 8monsters and then passing out in my wardrobe

  23. Thank you for great info! I am writing because on your videos regularly appears add of Healing VIP that uses invented story about Porchon-Lynch(how she lost her children, that she never had, according to all official info…) to my mind it is unethical, can you or anybody do something about it? I did not find the way to report…

  24. Thank you. This really helped. I felt like I had nowhere to go and didn't know what to do in the middle of a breakdown so I looked up coping mechanisms, I had no idea it would actually make a difference.

  25. So I painted my nails, put on some ear buds playing a musical audiobook and started power walking around my house while inhaling and then blowing bubbles on a 4/4 count. The bubble stick was tied the microphone on my headset so that could draw and color on a crossword puzzle on a clipboard while I walked with my phone taped to the clipboard and playing Netflix. I've already stuck motivational post-it notes everywhere to look up at and I'm wearing mops on my feet.

    I took stock of how my emotions felt in my body, folded the crossword puzzle into a nice card and sent it to my therapist friend, and called them to let them know it was coming. The card is full of a journal of my impulses and a chart of my feelings as a word collage, plus things I like about myself and am thankful for and a message to my older self and also a letter to Jerky McJerkface.

    I . . . don't know how, but somehow my older self responded to my card and told me I was clearly on meth. I am now in rehab.

  26. Great tips thank you. The things that help me are talking to someone, watching a tv series or movie, or writing about it, or writing a letter to the person who upset me. Going for a walk does not always work as I tend to start thinking about the issue, although it also helps to work through a problem. Intense exercise also sometimes backfires as it raises my cortisol and makes me feel worse.

  27. Thank you I've been looking for videos like this they never give the answer talk 20 minutes telling you what you already know instead of a resolution and at the end you have to Goto their website or blog or something and try to suck you in to eventually get money so manipulation and it's funny because their talking about being codependent and being manipulated and all the other things but they are trying to for their gain and clickbait with titles

  28. Everyone has written everything I want to say, but I'll say it anyway:
    Thank you so so so much for this. You're an angel. God bless you.

  29. Praying to my Heavenly Father God through my Savior my Savior Jesus Christ for help from His Holy Spirit. 🙏💞💖

  30. Daaam u remind me of my group therapy leader. Thanks for doing what you do

    If you happen to read this and have the time, could you refer me to a video or study going more into depth about physical activity/working out as a coping method?

    Thanks again

  31. Coping skill 25: Just stop and take a deep breath.
    26: Smile at someone
    27: Remember something that made you laugh
    28: Roll your eyes up
    29: Try to write something with the hand you never use. (Usually left) (Helps to focus the mind, activate present moment)
    30: Aroma Therapy for depression, positive mood: Lavender, Rose, Sandalwood, Frankincense and Myrrh.

  32. My #25 is I remind myself that I "get to" instead of "have to". Example: Sweet baby kitty is sick and vomits on the carpet. Instead of being grrrrrrrrrr that I now have to clean up vomit, I remind myself that it is a small price to pay in order to enjoy this sweet baby kitty. I don't HAVE to clean up the mess, I GET to clean up the mess.

  33. I like to set basic self care goals for each day or for the week. For example: take a shower, eat 2-3 nutritious meals a day, walk for 10 mins, drink 1 liter of water, etc. This makes me feel like even if I had a bad day or felt overwhelmed to do anything that I at least tried to take care of my basic needs. It’s lame but it works for me

  34. I've been crocheting a single bracelet for over 2 weeks. When I'm upset, I crochet a row or two. Then I undo the rows, or the whole bracelet, and start again. Crocheting gives me something to do with my hands, I learn and practice new stitches, and pulling on the yarn and undoing the rows feels like destroying something but in a relaxing and satistying way, it feels like popping bubble wrap.

  35. I watch Kati. That's the 25th

    Actually praying helps, and I also in joy lighting a candle and reading the Bible. The psalms especially make me feel understood

  36. chewing gum cinnamon or mint proven to slow down breathing and take away nausea that anxiety causes, helps with headaches

  37. my 25 is to look at art, they say when you look at images it helps you get out of your head as images stop the processing of words in the mind 🙂

  38. 25th: Playing videogames. Same reasoning as watching films or reading books. Helps me live in a different world from this one and relax.
    26th: Folding origamis. Same reasoning as coloring. Takes a lot of focus and when you see the end result it's very satisfying. And once you memorized a couple of origamis, you can do it anywhere, like folding a pamphlet you've been handed on the street into a bird while you're waiting at the bank.

  39. A few ideas for coping that personally help me…

    1. Most people typically self harm in their rooms, so to fix that leave your room. When you ever have an urge to self harm, take a nice walk, clean the dishes, do and small thing, or big thing you want to distract yourself from self harming.

    2. If you could self harm anywhere, make yourself a “safe space”. For example, your room. You can do whatever with your room, so you should make it have a happier vibe to it. You should make yourself comfortable with it and continually find new ways to make your dream space perfect. It will help keep your mind off of your urges you have.

    3. Read a good book, or watch a good movie series or just singular movie.
    Once you get deep into the book or movie(s) you’ll completely forget about your urge for that time being.

  40. my 25th skill depends on the situation: if I am overwhelmed with anger/frustration I will start boxing or when I am plain sad I go outside and look at people. I find everyone interesting and beautiful and I kinda see their vibes. (distracts me)

  41. These don’t seem like coping skills to me, but more like distractions. They are helpful, though. I’ve been wanting to paint my nails. 💅

  42. My 25 is k-pop,
    For me it’s stops urges to harm myself and even stop me in the process.
    Listening,watching, all of it!

  43. Im trying to get a new coping mechanism because i usually turn to food, sleep, and masturbation- which is NOT sustainable at the slightest.

  44. 1. VitaminD
    2. Painting nails
    3. Blow bubbles
    4. Read books
    5. Exercise
    6. Deep breathing/breathing techniques
    7. Watching shows or videos
    8. Draw doodle
    9. Color
    10. Crossword puzzle
    11. Write motivational quotes and hang them up
    12. Clean your house
    13. Play music or listen to music

    Processing steps
    1. Write a card to a friend
    2. Call or text to a friend. Call preferred
    3. Impulse logs
    4. Feeling charts
    5. Journaling
    6. Word collages
    7. Two things you like about your self or situation
    8. Talk to a therapist
    9. Focus on how emotion feels in our body
    10. Write a letter to your younger or older self
    11. Write letters to those who are upsetting us (dont send)

  45. I’m late to the party but I really wanted to add in my two cents. I personally feel like swimming is a brilliant coping skill. It’s also grounding to look at the sky and make cloud animals.

  46. its kinda cheesey but my 25th is imagining i am talking to someone. There are VERY limited people i trust in my life and they arent people who i can just text or call when im sad so instead i imagine im talking to them. Honestly i can sit there for hours and just talk and it makes me feel so much better when its all out. its kinda weird but it might help someone i guess

  47. This is my favorite coping ritual:
    • light some candles, put some playlist you love and take a hot shower or bath in the dark, only lit by the candles light.
    • meditate lightly (nothing fancy, just sit quietly, pay attention on breath and how body feels) and stretch afterwards
    • make some tea
    • gaze the sky/nature/streets if you can
    After doing these I am guaranteed to be feeling a lot better. But tbh not always I have the energy or self motivation to even take a shower hahah I still try to force myself to tho, bc I know I'll be feeling better

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