MARIO IS A PARASITE (Super Mario Odyssey)


Alright, so today we’re filming “Mario
is a Parasite”. FINALLY! I’ve been waiting for a script where I can
really just knock into Mario for being such a parasite to the Mushroom Kingdom and to
Peach and the Toads and Luigi. I mean this guy hasn’t done anything for
his family in forever and yet they’re constantly supporting him even when he goes off with
these weird rabbids guys and gets guns and stuff! Is this even a Mario game? Nintendo characters with guns and grenades? Mario, what are you doing? Did Miyamoto make you do this? You don’t have to fulfill your heritage
and become a mobster. You are Mario! You don’t needs guns! You don’t need to live off of other franchises
man! You’re doing just fine on your own! Wait, this isn’t about Mario leeching off
of other franchises? We’re doing a video on how mario is a parasite.. LIKE A BUG? Huh? So I uh, I guess we’re talking about Mario’s
parasitic nature today. I figured we would be talking about how he’s
never bringing home enough meatballs to feed the family, but I guess my initial take on
this script was a bit..buggy… Why do we even let Tyler write scripts… Horribly stupid puns aside, I guess he does
have a point about Mario. The dude is showing a few more parasitic tendencies
than we’re used to. If you’re unsure of what I’m talking about
allow me to refer you to the Super Mario Odyssey Trailers. In this new game Mario has a brand new feature. You can call it the hat toss, mind control,
whatever you want really, but what we’ve learned here is that Mario has the ability
to control the actions and movements of other living beings. I mean as long as it’s consensual I don’t
really have a problem with whatever he and Peach decide to do in the bedroom, but this
frog, and that goombah and this Tyrannosaurus Rex definitely didn’t sign up for the spaghetti
mind control that Mario seems to possess in his newest title. And while this new skill does seem like a
ton of fun cuz who doesn’t want to be a T-Rex, it does bring up some rather interesting
questions about how Mario is able to control the minds of others. You see, mind control isn’t exactly a new
concept, but when it comes to reality, there isn’t a ton to go on. The closest thing humans probably have is
hypnosis, and that still gets no where close to complete mind control against the wishes
of the host. No, when we are talking about mind control
we have to ask, is there anything on earth that can actually control the brain and actions
of another organism? And that question leads us to parasites. You see, of all the animals in the uh..animal
kingdom, parasites, well specifically a fungus known as Ophiocordyceps unilateralis, actually
has the ability to control their hosts minds. While this fungus may be real, we typically
only see it taking over insects in nature, using the insect’s body to find an optimal
spot to spread the fungus to new hosts. However, this isn’t the first time this
fungus has been used in a video game. If you ever played The Last Of Us, the fungus
that is zombifying the world is a strain of the Ophiocordyceps fungus. But what we’re seeing in Mario looks nothing
like the scary nightmares I get from The Last Of Us. So let’s take a look at how Mario controls
his hosts and see if we can dissect how this mind control works in Super Mario Odyssey. So Mario throws his hat like a frisbee, and
suddenly he’s in control of whatever entity his hat is on. Based on that, and completely disregarding
this whole ghost entity that haunts your hat cuz as we all know science says that ghosts
aren’t real, there must be something going on underneath that cap that we can’t quite
see. Since we don’t have the actual game just
yet, I’m going to have to go out on a limb here. It seems that Mario and his hat may actually
be one entity, a mutation sort of fungus that can not only take over minds, but as we’ve
seen from previous games, change into different elements too – Invisible, metal mario, ect. We’ve seen in previous games that Mario
actually gets hurt a lot more without his cap, so I’m going to hazard a guess that
if Mario and his hat are actually one entity, that Mario’s brain is actually in his hat,
not his head. And the rest of his body, which can be easily
broken down to microscopic pieces as we’ve seen in the Super Mario Odyssey trailers,
is actually a sentient fungus that has learned to take the shape and color of a man. This would explain why the Mario is so short
compared to all the people in New Donk City. He’s actually a fungus that, while emulating
humans, is not large enough to be full height because there just isn’t enough fungus to
grow that tall. It would also explain Mario’s horrible fashion
sense with overalls and mustaches. We all know that pedophiles have taken over
that mustache-only look. Well, them and Hitler. So why would someone grow a mustache unless
it was a fungus that doesn’t know the customs of our society? Basically it seems like Mario may have been
a sentient fungus all along, and only now are we seeing his true abilities come into
play. Mario the parasite throws his brain onto the
head of others, infects their body with his fungus being, and is able to control them
for as long as is needed. The truth about Mario has finally been revealed! He’s not a fungi to have around. Or maybe I just really wanted to make a video
trying to prove that Mario is actually a fungus. Did I succeed? Eh, probably not, but all I’m saying is
that there’s no proof that Mario isn’t a fungus either! All the plot points are there, I just had
to connect them in an absurd way. But this is Nintendo. They’re known for doing absurd things with
their main franchises. I mean just look at the Zelda timeline, that
thing’s complete buffoonery, but if Miyamoto says it’s canon then it is right!? All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t just
throw aside the possibility that Mario is actually a mind controlling fungus that has
evolved to the point that it can take on the appearance of a two foot tall man. Anything is possible. So with that I’ll leave you all wondering
if I’m crazy or not, but thanks for watching, I’m Ryan and I hate it when Tyler writes
insane scripts. I’ll see ya next time people!

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