Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to Guts and Glory! A game that’s supposed to be a lot like Happy Wheels …but in 3D Which means there’s going to be lot’s of blood and body parts flying around screams of pain as far a the ear can hear! IT’S A FUN TIME ALL AROUND!! And you guys wanted me to play it so I’m going to do just that. “A Terrible Tutorial” *mumbling the level description* Do I look like the kind of guy… …that needs a tutorial?! NO! I’ve been playing Happy Wheels for a long time So, I’m gunna plaaay… *again mumbling more level stuff* That sounds fun! Oh Who the hell is that? John & Jimmy, Earl, and the Yang Family. Well…. This is the only… uh, Ready?! oKAY NO What was my names? Jeremy and Jackson? J… Jehovah and Jeremiah? I don’t know! Jeffery and J-J…Johnavin??? Johnavin? Is that a na- woah gawd hi oH jeez This isn’t exactly… uh, deadly yet But I imagine the deadly-ness comes later… s’cuse me Oh bo- Ooh hey! ‘cuse me! Pardon me! Kid, did you just get an arrow in the knee? Oh no! Oh no! Oh gawd! Okay! weEEEEEEOOOO wOw! Oh-kay! Can’t get out of the wheelie! Welp there we go. That’s quite a lot of arrows. but we’re not dead yet! So I guess we’re pretty okay. hedalerdealedlheadedrder Ding! Whooooooh!! Oh? I can keep going? Oh. Well I guess this day’s not done, son! I guess we’re going into town. Aaalright! That was boring! “Warm-up” Ok! Why is there a cannon on a roof? Alright, John and Jimmy. Ready? No, no. No I’m not. I’m not ready ok Wee, wee- *laughs* wee! woOOO Oh, nothing like a lil whiplash for a son to get by. Great start on your childhood there, kid! hEH *dies* eeEGGGHHH *dies more* Nice! Sick moves Oh gawd… WELL I guess- I guess thats CLOSE ENOUGH to school ah shi- ugh. let me just crumple up and remember all my terrible memories oh my poor childhood OH I CANT STOP CRYING what a bitch. carrying on heh he-beh he-buh oh that’s such a successful ding In’t that right, J-j..J-John V Jam Jo?? Jim Bo! Jim-Bob! Jim Bob and Jim-Bo? huulghh hUULH oh-kay 😀 huULH- oooHHHHHh-k wOooow these controls are A LIL wonky Just a lil bit! AH! Hey! Watch where you’re shootin’ there ya asshole! Haay!! That almost probabl- *explodes* What Happened?! Where did I go?! Oh! Landmine! Oh! That’s bad. I should’ve known about that… OH GAWD M-MY SONS HEAD elgh I mean, my torso, obviously in pieces over there but my son’s HEAD- NOO I care! I have emotions! … and such. *explodes again* Shit! GOOD GAWD! Actually look at the ground this time, would be- Oh! That’s much better! Oh! Avoid them… ooh What happened!? *fum-k!* i-it’s like made of plastic!! I gu- I guess once again, I was crippled by the… emotional burden of my teenage years… oh, man eeh *tire screech* eeh eeh eeh eeh *many eehs* dont- don- woAH UGH oh ok EUGH eUDH HOLD IT TOGETHER SON HOLD IT TOGETHER I SAID HOLD IT TOGETHER D: gawd dammit youre fallin apart at the seams or maybe i am I-I think my arms just turned into on big middle finger. So I can give it to the world as I… ride by Alright get some of this! HUH? ▐ ⊙ ▃ ⊙ ▐ Fuck yoouuu! (ಥʖ̯ಥ) AAH! *explodes* goddammit! It didn’t even blow us up! We just fell apart! ugh. that neck. uhh That giblet on me… ugh Alright. Let’s try it again! A lil less… fucking gah- I wasn’t paying attention. That’s the long and the short of that. eh! uGHOH jeez *assorted groans and noises of panic* C’mon Jackaboy and Job Jub- Jah Bo! Jahbbonuhh *wins* We did warm up… Whiplash? Well! I already gave my- elghh I already gave my son whiplash so maybe this ain’t gon be so gud… wut 0.o AHHhhhh woah ayy, woah ayy, woahwoahwoahwoooah WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH AHHHHHH I wasn’t ready! [and] I dunno what’s goin’ on- Heaay!! Are thooose saaaws??? Do I need to avoid thooose? heeeAEEEH WEEEE That’s not a barrel roll- *deep, monstrous groan* OOOH That’s death. That’s a lotta death. ooh my spine!! alright. Let’s try this again! With less suck! Which I have ample amounts… I have equal amounts of suck and win. (WOW) sometimes ther- Woaoohoohooha (nailed it) Ahh! My kneeee! Ok. I don’t know if that’d be lethal… (no) Ow… Why? (that is) Oh-kay! This time with the even less suck. Man, just these controls are so janky. Just like, instantaneous like, -blunt force trauma from the jerking motion. Eeehh Well Bye son! well shit *demonic noises* Ohhoh man. My neck went through that! My neck! My BA-HAH-HAH-HACK …the *rest* of it. Okay! This time- -not stupid Weeeeee! One flip is all we need! AAHAHAAA! OH GAWD! I’m grinding away his skin! Aow! What the fuck was that?! weooah wooahwhawaohwa aaAH ok no roll! Kid, that’s your own- ulgh. Sorry, kid! Didn’t mean it! uuuUh Tha- GAWD DAMMIT! IT’S SO HARD! (What was that?) thats what she said ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (HAHA) There’s like some, self correcting-ness to it. Like a little bit. Not a lot! Just a lil bit. Just enough. Okay! This is the one! *more panic sounds* why- OH IM STILL ALIVE! WE’RE DOING IT SON! WE’RE DOING IT! WE’RE DOING JINJINNIDN JIN JEN JENNIFER! jameson *victory sounds and mark screaming* Oh, I almost got that hump. Well, bye. Alright. So this is pretty good. *more level reading with markiplier* Cannons on Main Street!! “Look before crossing the street.” I don’t think that’s gunna help us. I don’t think that’s going to help us at all. I don’t think it helped him. I don’t think it’ll help us. alright.. I’m assuming you’re John and I’m Jimmy. I don’t like the name John. heeeelgh. Hang a riiight. Well shit *laughing* I guess we’re done here.. Let’s just take a break son! Don’t worry about it! More like cowering in fear, but we’ll be fine. Oh.. That tip. I probably should’ve read it. woahwoahay owah euughh Ooh noo! We hit it! *cannon firing* WOAH AHH Ah! It’s the cannons on main street! aAH well… Okay then! Good gawd. My goodness gracious. Ok! We got this! Ahh! Oh god! No! Take my son! He’s already dead! Oh well!! TAKE HIM AGAIN! uegh oh alright. oh I’m out in the open.. Get in the circle. geitntothecircle ah ok there we go. checkpoint! AAH oh I killed MYSELF DOH GOD. OH MY GOD *laugh-crying* noooo I ended it all out of fear and it just turned out worse. *normal mark noises then panic screams* It’s so scary. It’s so scary! It’s so scary!! *so many screams* Aw man! I was almost through! The trick is to… ride ar- ohoh gawd shitshitfuck AAHH… aww dammit hah. missed meee missed meee missed meee ulgh… that did not miss So the problem is… I keep getting slowed down by the curbs. So I gotta find a way to get… Shit I gotta slow down by the mailbox there. I gott- I gotta find a waay… Oh fuck it.. WAH! There’s gotta be a way… To get over that curb… easier. aw man AHWWW FUCK OFF! NO! Man. It’s not easy! It-It’s not easy. It’s really not easy. Like, I’m trying to… I was on the ground!! Fucking cock! oH! BRHAH Man. These controls are like, they’re very selective on… The-They’re What is with the inconsisten- WHAT AM I DOING?! Don’t. Don- I’m dead. I’m dead. I’ve become one with my bike. It’s very, like, inconsistent on how much it wants to turn. …woah ok Oh jeez, I’m not going to make this, am I? It’s-It really is inconsistent. Like, I don’t know why it’s inconsistent. It doesn’t make sense that it is inconsistent. ‘Cause I’ll turn like that… And I turned like that before and I hit the wall. Woah okay! I’m over here now! I can mAKE IT! OOHO GAWD OOH! Oh! Ah! No! COME ON! OH! OH GOD! MAGAN FOX DON’T DON’T NOO! ok we’re fine. I didn’t want it to fall over and die like an idiot. uh-oh they’re still shooting at me well that’s probably bad I should’ve read that tip at the beginning. The tip at the beginning probably had something that would get me through that a lot easier. HOT DIGGETY! I DID IT! I did it- wOOO! “Extreme Jump”? Alright! I’ll do an extreme jump. oh Hello! John & Jimmy! We can do this. I don’t know how but we can do this! oh-oh Well this don’t seem good. Which way am I s’posed to go? This is quite the jump! I-It’s extreme, dare I say. Oh boy. (x6) OOH! Wooah… Okay. Did we make it? *screams* Awww! We were so close! Okay, we can do this I just wasn’t going down the right section of the hill before I got… caught up by my own stupid. aw yeah… ah we can do this *deep gravely scream* Okay (x5 getting progressively louder) yeAH! Uh oh… Well that’s not exactly what I- Woah! We did it!! I mean, we didn’t do the last part of the jump, but I count it. I count partial credit… for me… *victory sound! Wooo! We did it. Okaay. “Meatgrinder”! This is the hardest one on here. I mean, that cannon one was pretty hard because of the contrOOOHH AH! HOOOOOW DOOOOO I am not the most dedicated at this and I don’t think I’m going to be trying very hard to win it… Okay?? *screams* I was about to say “So far, so good” jeez First try: winning eh, eh.. Sorry. Excuse me. Aw! There’s landmines. Aw, I didn’t realize that. Aw, I’m a stupid. aw no no not the cones this is scoot scoot all over again heh Wooo! Missed me! Well I’m just going to take a breather here while we get resituated. missed me… aHH aHH WHAT HAPPENED? God! For some reason it seems farther away that it actually is! That’s so weird. kay. Hn. kay, kay, kay. Alright we’re good! Weee! Ow! Ow!! Ow! That hurts! A lot! *Lots of screaming* *victory sound* OOOH! OOOOH! LOOK AT MEEEE! LOOK AT MEEE! All those years of Happy Wheels have really paid off. Okay! So that was the hardest one, so… That is… Guts and Glory! Thank you everybody so much for watching! There’s a lot of potential here. The controls like, The thing about Happy Wheels is that the controls in the game are *mwuah* They are very tight and have great game feel. In this one, It feels like they are intentionally wonky, to make it funnier. Which it does! But also it doesn’t make it, like, a tighter game, you know. The controls aren’t as responsive. But still! For early alpha! This is really good. It’s got a lot of potential here. There just more that could be put into it. Like, a lil bit more expanded and a custom level creator and its good to go. So! Thank you so much for watching! Let me know what you thought in the comments below! And as always! I will see you! In the next video! Buh-Bye!