TRANSFORMERS PARODY: PARADRON PARASITES (ACT 2)


BRAWL: C’mon let’s get that son of a bitch! Do you got the heart of a lion or fucking kitty cat? RAZORCLAW: I am the ruler of my squad. RAZORCLAW: You’re a leg. A lackey. A fucking follower. BRAWL: You talk to me like that again I’ll bust your fucking chops furball! BRAWL: See he’s a Triple Changer. I told you he was an aircraft. RAZORCLAW: Shut up! How does a guy who’s never been to Earth turn into Earth vehicles? SANDSTORM: I can’t do it alone. I have to find someone beyond the stars to help me, brotha. SANDSTORM: My own countrymen can’t deal with any scrutiny. SANDSTORM: Uncreative lazy bastards! SANDSTORM: My community has to be willing to make sacrifices, brotha. SANDSTORM: The tall white explorer if it hadn’t been for him we might not be this way, brotha. SANDSTORM: Gas up this rocket, brotha. DIVEBOMB: This is Divebomb. Is the Bruticus doppelganger with you? May I annoy him? GALVATRON: (transmission) Fuck off pigeon! DIVEBOMB: I’m no pigeon. I just thought I’d ask. SANDSTORM: You’re a pigeon. You’d better fly elsewhere, brotha. DIVEBOMB: I am tired of having legs that don’t transform. SANDSTORM: To get this bloody thing off the ground! SANDSTORM: Fire one, fire two, fire three! Come on, brotha! SANDSTORM: That’s it, brotha! DIVEBOMB: I can’t let him get away! Galvatron will keep calling me a fucking pigeon, and I hate that! SANDSTORM: Choke on this dust, brotha! DIVEBOMB: Hey man why won’t you shut up? DIVEBOMB: Your Scottish accent sounds like shit! SANDSTORM: Get decent feet, brotha! BRUTICUS LOOKALIKE CONTEST WINNER: I wanna thank everyone for letting me win this contest! BRUTICUS LOOKALIKE CONTEST WINNER: I didn’t think I looked like Bruticus! All my friends said I did, but I didn’t believe them! GALVATRON: Damn those Combaticons. GALVATRON: Blitzwing! What the fuck are you doing here? BLITZWING: I came for the game. SANDSTORM: Is there anyone out there? SANDSTORM: Terrorists calling themselves the Decepticons are attacking us! FIREFLIGHT: Hey dude going rogue doesn’t pay the bills. That’s why we came back. FIREFLIGHT: But there’s an aircraft out there dude. RODIMUS PRIME: It’s probably another Quintesson decoy! RODIMUS PRIME: Another Ralph Furley! Do not rescue him! RODIMUS PRIME: I gave orders not to rescue this guy, but you guys didn’t listen. KUP: Scourge and Cyclonus are on your planet? How the fuck did they get there? KUP: It’s not on this map! KUP: Dune buggies and helicopters are Earth vehicles! There is no Paradron! SANDSTORM: Paradron is my home, brotha, and these modes came from a great explorer. ULTRA MAGNUS: Scourge and Cyclonus are not explorers ULTRA MAGNUS: So you better come clean with us punk! RODIMUS PRIME: Fill me in about Paradron. SANDSTORM: Our ancestors fled Cybertron after years of Quintesson tyranny, brotha. SANDSTORM: These Consumer Goods were hard workers. SANDSTORM: They never played video games and never dallied in pornography. SANDSTORM: They came upon the vortex and Paradron was on the other side, brotha. SANDSTORM: It is said a pair of explorers laid the groundwork for our present. RODIMUS PRIME: Skyfire and Starscream? BLURR: The Decepticons know Sandstorm escaped, therefore they’ll attempt to keep Paradron’s government cheese. BLURR: And make the freeloading Paradronians work for three square meals and a cot. SANDSTORM: Aye. You gotta slow down, brotha SANDSTORM: You might want to put some fucking subtitles there. KUP: Nah. We don’t need subtitles. Just kill this crackhead. RODIMUS PRIME: It was in another parody that Starscream said he invented the Earth style jet. RODIMUS PRIME: And we had idiots like that quack Ratchet saying it was a fucking animation error! ULTRA MAGNUS: Because it was! BLURR: So you’re saying when there were animation errors showing Earth vehicles before Transformers came to Earth… BLURR: That an explorer who crashed on Paradron actually thought of these vehicles before the Earth humans did? RODIMUS PRIME: Yup it’s all in the Matrix GALVATRON: You bitches call this work. GALVATRON: This is bad productivity. GALVATRON: Anyone who doesn’t want this carrot shoved up their fucking ass will increase productivity. GALVATRON: I encourage any one of you to come up to challenge me. GALVATRON: This time you’ll be shot down and you’ll be the bitch. GALVATRON: AGGHHH! Autobitches! BRITICUS LOOKALIKE CONTEST WINNER: Awesome! BRUTICUS LOOKALIKE CONTEST WINNER: Hey I get to watch the evil genius behind this organization work!
GALVATRON: Shut up! Shut the fuck up! You no leg lookalike… GALVATRON: You’ll do nothing bitch! BRUTICUS LOOKALIKE CONTEST WINNER: Yes! Yes! The Great Galvatron yelled at me! GALVATRON You’re just an idiot fan leech! GALVATRON: Prepare the testicular cannon on them motherfuckers! BRAWL: If these dummies got balls; we about to remove them sons of bitches. HEADSTRONG: Galvatron hired the ball-less already. BRAWL: Yeah that’s that little pinko who spoke of autocracy. HEADSTRONG: Why? BRAWL: Basically he called Galvatron a dictator. HEADSTRONG: He wasn’t wrong about that. BRAWL: Clip them Autobot balls off! Fire the damn cannon! HEADSTRONG: I just did fool! BRAWL: Why don’t you stop snorting your dirty son of a bitch! HEADSTRONG: Fuck off!

10 Replies to “TRANSFORMERS PARODY: PARADRON PARASITES (ACT 2)”

  1. Can't wait to see the end of this episode. I bet Sandstorm will be pretty pissed off to see his planet destroyed by Rodimus Prime

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